Squash Match Wrestling!

Tag: Bron Breakker

  • 3/24/25 Raw Rundown

    Monday Night Raw in Glasgow, Scottland was a night full of surprises. Let’s get right into today’s review of the show.

    Photo credit: WWE

    Cena Scolds The Audience

    For the second week in a row, John Cena started tonight’s show with another promo directed toward us, the viewers. He gave us an even deeper look into how he is feeling and what his plans are for his WWE Championship run.

    Although it seemed obvious, I didn’t see this coming to start the show for some reason. It was a nice surprise to hear Cena’s music hit to kick things off.

    The biggest takeaway from this promo is that John Cena plans to take the title away from not just Cody Rhodes at WrestleMania but from us as well. He made reference to the hate he received for converting the old, respected title belt into the spinner belt that was widely hated among WWE fans and superstars alike.

    Just like he did all of those years ago, John Cena plans to take away the prestigious WWE Championship once again. This time he will retire with it at the end of the year.

    Cody came out to confront Cena again. He said that if he wants to take the title away from us, he has to get through Cody first.

    Many people online have been complaining about the Cody Rhodes and John Cena promos. Everyone seems upset that John Cena is yet to respond to Cody face-to-face. To that, I say let them cook.

    Are we forgetting that there is still a month until WrestleMania? Do you really think we’re not going to get a Cody Rhodes and John Cena promo battle before then? Well, we are. It’s called suspense people. Let it build up. This has the potential to be one of the greatest wars of words in the history of the WWE. Of course they aren’t going to give it to us three weeks into the Cena heel turn. You’re upset because you’re impatient.

    The Usos Reunite

    The second big surprise of the night was the reunion of one of the greatest tag teams of all time, The Usos.

    A mystery partner for Jey was teased last week. Usually, when this happens, it’s the most obvious person you could think of as the surprise entrant. Except for that one time when we got Ricky. I miss Ricky…

    There was buzz online that it could be Joe Hendry, but I honestly didn’t know who it would be. When I saw Jimmy Uso I freaked out. The Usos haven’t teamed up in over a year. This was sick.

    Of course, The Usos defeated A-Town Down Under in an awesomely nostalgic match. It was great to see a one-d for the first time in a while.

    Jey Uso looked like he had his swagger back from last week with his brother by his side. He looked confident, which he needed after last week’s botch.

    Gunther attacked Jimmy and Jey after the match ended. Jey got the jump on him early, carrying his confidence from the match over to this retaliation. That was until he slipped up while attempting a spear and got beat down by Gunther in the end.

    Later in the night, we got a backstage segment where a disheartened Jey was sitting and talking with Jimmy about the mania match. Jimmy told it to him like it is and how any brother would. Jey can’t win. Not this depressed, botch machine Jey anyway. But the Jey who won the Royal Rumble can. Main Event Jey Uso can beat Gunther.

    Jimmy then met Gunther in the hallway and challenged him to match next week. Gunther accepted with a quick, sh*t-eating quip and got his hatable grin smacked straight off of his face which was one of my favorite moments of the night.

    My opinions on the Jey Uso versus Gunther feud have changed seemingly every week. I believe that the addition of Jimmy Uso was necessary, and I clamored for it a few weeks ago on my radio show.

    People online are upset that they are taking this low-confidence angle for Jey Uso. However, you’re playing right into it. The more you hate on him, the more WWE is going to lean into it. Our hatred for it makes it work. Like it or not, I know you’re all going to be yeeting your asses off when Jey wins at Mania.

    Lyra Valkyria vs Raquel Rodriguez

    Since putting over Bayley in the Elimination Chamber qualifying match a few weeks back, Lyra Valkyria has been on an absolute tear. She has defended the Women’s Intercontinental Championship every other week on Raw since then and has been putting on awesome matches each time.

    Tonight’s match against Raquel Rodriguez was no exception. Lyra took some nasty-looking bumps in this match. That big boot from Raquel as Lyra was in mid-air was gross. I am impressed by her more and more each week.

    After Lyra got the win, she was attacked by the Women’s Tag Team Champions. Bayley hustled her way to the ring (she was MOVIN) to make the save.

    I think we have finally found where Liv Morgan can find herself on the WrestleMania card. That being in a match for Lyra’s Intercontinental title. After the year she had, and even after last week’s huge win over Jade Cargill she absolutely deserves a spot on the card.

    What I don’t want to see is a triple-threat between Bayley, Liv, and Lyra. We already have a few triple threats on the card. It’s being memed online there are so many. Just make this a singles match.

    Adam Pierce Addresses The Women’s World Championship Match

    Adam Pierce came to the ring to confirm that Rhea Ripley’s signing of the contract last week was invalid and that we will not be seeing her added to the match at WrestleMania.

    Iyo, Bianca, and Rhea joined him in the ring to start arguing about who deserves to be in the match. Pierce confirmed a rematch for next week between Rhea Ripley and Iyo Sky for the Women’s World Championship. The winner of which will face Bianca at WrestleMania.

    It was later confirmed in a backstage segment that Bianca Belair would be the special guest referee.

    This match is going to end in shenanigans. Bianca said it herself, she doesn’t know how to referee. This is going to lead to something happening in the match that sets up the triple-threat match at WrestleMania.

    I don’t think that this feud needs this rematch in order to confirm the triple threat. It’s already there. Just take what you’ve got while it’s hot.

    A Legendary Luchador Debuts

    Hailing from the Gulf of America, world-famous luchador El Grande Americano made his WWE debut tonight against Dragon Lee after Chad Gable had to pull out of the match due to illness.

    What a debut it was too. This match rocked. That suplex from Americano from the apron to the floor was gnarly. I was a big fan of the finish too. Although I couldn’t tell if Lee’s mask was supposed to fall off or not at the time.

    I still don’t understand why everyone is making connections between Chad Gable and Americano. So what he disrespects Lucha traditions by de-masking his opponents? So what he has the exact same physical build as Chad? So what they have nearly identical ring gear and move sets? Chad Gable is innocent. He has nothing to do with the legendary El Grande.

    CM Punk Speaks on Rollins and Reigns

    CM Punk came out to the ring to speak about his newly confirm match against Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins at WrestleMania.

    He said again that neither Reigns or Rollins have ever beaten Punk without the other ones help and that having each other is their only hope at winning.

    He said that there will be a contract signing for the match this week on Smackdown, where he hinted that he will be getting what he wants out of this match. Will this be where he cashes in his favor from Paul Heyman, and what will the favor be?

    People online are saying that the favor will be CM Punk being added to the John Cena versus Cody Rhodes match if he wins. However, I don’t think that that is what Punk wants. He hasn’t hinted at wanting a title ina while.

    What CM Punk really wants is to finally main event WrestleMania. His favor from Paul will be making this match the main event of night one of mania.

    Penta vs Bron Breakker

    Bron Breakker successfully defended his Intercontinental Championship in the main event tonight against Penta.

    This was Penta’s first time main eventing a WWE show and it definitely won’t be his last.

    Like every Penta match we’ve seen so far, this one was awesome. I still can’t get over how cool of a move the Mexican destroyer is. I am in awe every time I see it. This was a great showing between two of WWE’s fastest-rising stars.

    I was super excited about this match all week. That’s why I was disappointed with the way it ended. I wanted a definitive winner, but I understand now why they chose to protect Bron and Penta from taking a pinfall.

    I predicted last week that we would be getting a triple-threat match between Bron Breakker, Penta, and Dominik Mysterio for the IC title at WrestleMania. I was almost right.

    From the conclusion of tonight’s main event, it is looking more like a fatal four-way is what we’re getting with Finn Balor added into the mix.

    I am just as fine with this as I am with the triple-threat. In fact, I think this is the perfect opportunity to revitalize the career of Finn Balor. He has been down bad for far too long. Years for that matter. Fans have been asking for WWE to do something with Finn for a long time and this could be the perfect opportunity.

  • 3/17/25 Raw Rundown

    After avoiding spoilers for this episode all day, I thought this episode of Monday Night Raw was full of fun, and I was glad I didn’t see anything beforehand.

    Image credit: WWE

    Heel Cena’s First Appearance

    Since turning heel at this year’s Elimination Chamber PLE, John Cena has yet to appear on an episode of either Raw or Smackdown. That is until tonight.

    John Cena opened up the show and explained how he felt to the WWE Universe. This was a breakup note to all of us who have grown up watching Mr. Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect. Cena told us that we have been awful to him. Booing him, chanting at him, forcing him to change. This was an interesting angle to take for WWE and I am fully behind it. It makes a lot of sense if you think about it.

    Whether you loved or hated Cena growing up, we have all been a part of the “John Cena sucks” chant that was especially loud in Brussels. Cena made me feel bad for rooting against him for all of those years.

    In a nutshell, John Cena has finally flipped to the dark side because he is looking after himself. He sees this as the easiest route to winning number 17 and is the correct way to do a heel John Cena character.

    Cody Rhodes eventually made his entrance to confront his WrestleMania opponent. Cena immediately tried to ‘lil bro’ Cody, but he wasn’t having it.

    Cody asked Cena who he really was. He wants a match against the real John Cena at Mania. Not this selfish, winey, shell of his former self.

    Overall, the crowd was hot for both of these guys. Cena didn’t get the chance to get a word in against Cody, but both looked super strong on the mic.

    Another Great Showing from Penta

    Monday Night Raw’s newest acquisition continues to wow fans with his innovative and high-flying offense.

    Penta defeated Ludwig Kaiser in a no-holds-barred match in the first match of the night. As always, I was super impressed with Penta in this match. The finish had to of been my favorite part. A Mexican destroyer onto a steel chair followed by the Penta driver was immaculate. I can’t get enough of this guy.

    The shock of the segment was the post-match interview, where Penta announced that he would be going after the Intercontinental Championship in the near future.

    I think this is well deserved. Right now, nobody in Raw’s mid-card seems like a viable contender against Bron Breakker. Penta on the other hand has been hot and has clearly been the guy for weeks.

    There was also a tease later in the night that Dom Mysterio was working to recruit Penta to Judgement Day. Could this be building to a triple threat for the IC title at Mania?

    Ivy Nile vs Dakota Kai

    Dakota Kai defeated Ivy Nile with ease in this match. We had some shenanigans out on the apron with Chad Gable and the rest of American Made throughout, but other than that there’s not much else to say about it.

    Contract Conundrum

    The contract signing for the Women’s World Championship match at WrestleMania between Bianca Belair and Iyo Sky was next on the show.

    Both Iyo and Bianca signed it fairly quickly, Iyo stating that as champion, she will not be disrespected again like she was last week.

    After the signing, Rhea Ripley’s music hits as she storms to the ring. She was looking to also sign the contract for her match at WrestleMania. A match that she felt she deserved to be a part of. So much so that she would beat up both Iyo and Bianca and sign her name on the contract as well.

    We all knew this would wind up becoming a triple-threat match. Although it hasn’t been “made official” we all know where this is headed.

    Jey Uso Squashes Austin Theory

    Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to announce that I get to write about the first squash match in Squash Match Wrestling history!

    Jey Uso defeated Austin Theory with a cross body (per Michael Cole) in under one minute.

    After the match, Theory and Greyson Waller attempted to one-up the Royal Rumble winner but were bested once again. There was a terrible botch where Jey tried to jump out of the ring and onto both of his opponents, he hit the ropes and landed awkwardly.

    This was not a great look for someone who is trying to earn himself a WrestleMania main event. Especially with a storyline that has already been lackluster.

    Gunther once again came out to make Uso’s night hell. He locked in a vicious sleeper hold, but Jey was able to escape and finally get the best of the World Heavyweight Champion. The segment ended with Jey Uso holding up Gunther’s title in triumph.

    The Creed Brothers vs LWO

    Rey Mysterio and Dragon Lee defeated Julius and Brutus Creed in a tag team match.

    In ring, this match was incredible. What else would we expect from high-flying luchadors like Rey and Dragon? The Creed Brothers looked fantastic as always too.

    My favorite part, however, was the surprise attack from the mysterious masked assailant who is definitely NOT Chad Gable after the match had ended.

    This unknown figure delivered several Gable-like moves to the luchadors. Most likely in an attempt to frame our beloved and ever-innocent Master Gable. I hope that WWE security can catch this guy soon. He can’t keep getting away with this.

    Seth Speaks on Roman Reigns Attack

    In the final major segment before the main event, Seth Rollins made his way to the ring to acknowledge the spectacular Brussels crowd and talk about his victory last week over CM Punk.

    Seth was admittedly not angry at Roman Reigns for tainting his win in the steel cage match, saying that he would’ve done the same thing himself.

    His focus then shifted toward his opponent, CM Punk. He said that Punk got lucky. If Rollins had just a few more seconds he would have stomped his head into the mat and crushed his WrestleMania dreams.

    Seth announced that he would be heading to Smackdown later in the week to address both Reigns and Punk since they will also be at the show.

    It is looking more and more like we are getting a triple-threat match between Roman Reigns, CM Punk, and Seth Rollins. If this is the case, I believe that Seth Rollins should be the winner.

    1. Because I love Seth Rollins and want to see him win.
    2. Because Seth deserves it. Since losing his World Heavyweight Championship last year, he has been getting bested by these two all year. In the case of CM Punk, it’s in matches. But in terms of Roman, its from sheer star power. He’s been the head honcho in WWE for the past 4-5 years and a win like this would put Seth on an equally high pedestal where he deserves to be.

    Pinn Balor vs Bron Breakker

    Bron Breakker (predictably) retained his Intercontinental Championship against Finn Balor in a stellar match that main evented the show.

    Breakker was able to capitalize even when the numbers were against him. There were plenty of typical Judgement Day interferences fighting in Balor’s favor, but he was still able to get the win.

    After the match, Judgement Day jumped an exhausted Bron Breakker. None other than Penta, who declared himself the next challenger for Breakker’s IC title earlier in the show, came out to make the save.

    The two had a staredown, and the episode faded to black as the credits rolled.

    For as good as Finn Balor is in the ring, I can only see one way that he makes it to WrestleMania this year. And that is in a match against Judgement Day partner Dominick Mysterio. They have been hinting at a feud for weeks now as tensions continue to rise within the group over the supposed new member.

    However, I can also see Dom landing himself elsewhere on the WrestleMania card. That being in a triple-threat match between himself, Penta, and Bron Breakker for the IC title. You have to admit, this match would cook so much harder than Finn Balor vs Dominick Mysterio. That matchup just screams ‘Raw main event’ to me. I don’t think it’s worth wasting a spot on the show of shows, but I guess we’ll see how the story develops. Let Papa H cook as they say.